Life

I got remarried a little over 6 months ago to the most amazing and wonderful woman any guy could hope to marry. My wife is a true knock out beauty with a stunning smile, gorgeous, thick auburn colored hair, silky soft skin, and wondrous curves in all the right places. It's her internal beauty that really is remarkable to me though. She is warm and compassionate, caring, and thoughtful, loving, and endearing. She has such a good heart and such a sweet soul. Needless to say I am very lucky, and very in love with my wonderful wife. Marrying her was the best decision I ever made. I gained not only a wife, but my best friend, soul mate, and confidant. I have never felt more blessed and more complete.

One of the additional benefits that came with my marriage was becoming a step-father to an adorable, sweet, cheerful little girl. She was 5 years old when I met her, and full of life, love, curiosity, joy, enthusiasm, playfulness, creativity, and silliness to name just a few of the traits that describe her. The first couple of times I got to be with her she was super sweet, and excited to be in my presence. I had always considered myself very lucky to be the father of a wonderful, nice, smart, talented, and sweet little boy, but the addition of a new step-daughter to my world really took my feeling of being blessed and lucky to a new level. Now I had not just one great kid, but two totally amazing, sweet, smart, fun, charming, and loving children!

As anyone who knows anything about blending families, there are always some road bumps that come up in the process of adjusting to a new family dynamic. We were very lucky. Our kids adapted beautifully. Both kids were thrilled to have a sibling for the first time. They handled the transition really well. Fortunately it was a relatively easy transition because the children only would spend a couple of nights per week together. The rest of the time they were with their other parent. I was amazed that there was no awkwardness with my step-daughter. Since she and her father are very close and he has her half the time, I knew the possibility of her not warming up to me was a real one. And for the first couple of months we got along famously and all was well. She would hug me and tell me she loves me, and it almost felt like she was my own daughter.

Along about three months after we married though I started to notice differences. She wouldn't hug me like she used to. She would not say "I love you" to me like she used to. More noticeable was how she wouldn't let me do simple things for her like tie her shoes or help her get a cup from a high shelf. She only wanted her mommy to do those things for her. Gradually, I began to feel like things had changed. She would even say things at times that were out of character for this sweet, and lovely little girl: "go away Jim, I only want Mommy and me to be here now". Now I never took these things too seriously. I knew exactly what it was. She was going through a delayed reaction to the changes in her life. It was natural that she might get possessive over her mommy. Until I was in the picture, she had her mommy to herself all the time. Now I was around and that changed things. She also probably was feeling some divided loyalties. Even if she wanted to hug me or be really sweet to me, she didn't want to betray her doting father and his love by being overly nice to me. So I totally understood and accepted what was going on. I knew that it was a phase and that it would likely last a few months and then we would find a new equilibrium that might be somewhere in the middle between when she idolized me, and her being a little more indifferent towards me.

Well, the past month or so has been wonderful. My wonderful step-daughter has warmed up to me once again and it is really sweet. I think she realized that no matter what her mommy loves her and will always make time for her, and that just because I am on the scene doesn't mean that she is going to miss out on any valuable one on one time or snuggle time with her mommy. I think she also started to realize that I am not a threat to her or her dad. I want her to have a great relationship with her dad. That is fantastic. I just want to be a supporting cast member in her life. I adore her and love her, but I am not her dad. I am her step-dad, and I will be there for her to whatever extent she wants me to be or allows me to be. But I will never try to replace her dad. I think she senses these things now maybe and that might explain why she has warmed up to me again in recent weeks. I am so tickled about this too. She will hug me, ask me to take part in general silliness, ask me questions, allow me to help her, show me things that she is proud of, and just generally accepts me and assumes that I love her and I am a part of her life now. I couldn't be happier or feel more lucky or blessed. I have the best of everything: a loving, beautiful wife, an amazing and wonderful, sweet little step-daughter, and a terrific, smart, sensitive, talented, loving son. And best of all everyone gets along. The kids get along with each other really well. The kids get along with their respective step-parent, and our ex spouses get along with all of us too. It is really a good situation, and I couldn't be more grateful.